We got rid of the “call waiting” feature on our land line phone about ten years ago. It never felt quite right putting one caller on hold while checking the incoming call, then deciding which one was more important to talk to at that moment. We always told the second caller we’d get back to them later. Eventually we agreed that for really important calls, it wasn’t imperative to have call waiting. They would try again later. We’re not they type of people who talk on the phone for hours on end, for heaven’s sake. If it were a real emergency, those people close to us could contact us on our cell phones.
When I have a face-to-face conversation with someone, I try to be a both a good listener and participant in the dialogue. One of my pet peeves is when others don’t pay me the same courtesy, especially the listening part. On several occasions in the last few months it came to pass that I was speaking with someone & they were carrying on two conversations at the same time…and one of them was not with me. By this I mean that they were texting someone else while they were talking & listening to me. I didn’t quite know how to react. I did wonder if they really heard what I had to say. Is this the shape of things to come? Am I being overly sensitive? Are there rules of polite conversation, and if so, have they changed?
I don't think you are being oversensitive at all! It's common courtesy to give your listener 100% of your attention, otherwise, how would we know they are comprehending what we are saying? I also have friends who would sometimes text or answer their cellphone when they are in the middle of a face to face conversation with me. When that happens, I simply stop talking, and they know that that is a cue for them to wrap up whatever they are doing (texting, answering a cell call) and get back to our own conversation, because they know that I will not put up with having just 50% of their attention. And neither should you.
ReplyDeleteWe have certainly changed our communication style. Growing up, my notion of multitasking (and I did not even know this term) was studying with the TV and the music on. Now, my notion of multitasking is working on the computer with the TV on. When my nephew and nieces want to chat with me, I find it very difficult to chat and work at the same time. Instead, they chat with me and with a host of other friends, while, at the same time, they work on their papers and talk on the cell phone.
ReplyDeleteWhat bothers me most is the event you describe, people talking with you and looking at their cells while they are sending and receiving messages! Or two people at a restaurant with each of them looking at their blackberries. So why go out to a restaurant if they are not going to talk to each other?????